My Echoes of Sorrows

My Echoes of Sorrows

Author: Merj Ricklefs, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, RN-BC

I had to let them go—against my will.

One by one, I whispered goodbye, though the words destroyed me.

Do you know how much it pains me to be forced into this unethical choice?

For your convenience, comfort, and satisfaction!

And you, with a fleeting smile, felt triumphant.

But do you genuinely know what you've done?

One by one, my beloved friends gradually left.

For new places, unfamiliar and unknown to them.

They were my friends—a source of joy, comfort, and security.

They are my solace after my rough days, my emotional anchors,

reminding me about the beauty of life and the loving compassion we humans should embody.

Last September 4th at 6:30 a.m., before another day's work,

as I rose to help others cling to their very own lives,

to remind them of the beauty that still exists in this world,

to assist and speak hope into those who wish to disappear,

I stood before my beloved pets, heart aching, torn between love and loss,

as I chose who may stay and who must part.

Choosing which friends to lose today has been crushing—like thorns punctured through my soul.

The emotional toll is beyond reckoning.

For what? For the foul odor you smell when you are outdoors,

in your well-maintained property and the facade you wish to uphold?

You threaten with authorities taking them away from me,

claiming discomfort at the smell of my cherished animals,

though they were well cared for and loved deeply.

You said, "I don't have to put up with the stink, end of discussion."

In your victory, I ask—did you prevail?

Did you embody compassion?

Did you offer an indicator of empathy?

Or do you even know what empathy means?

Well, let me tell you what it means.

Empathy is the delicate act of standing in another's shoes,

feeling the weight of their burdens.

Can you say you are a righteous, beloved person in your luxurious way of life?

Are you a lover of life, of all God's creatures?

Does your soul align with the kindness your God called you to?

With innocent eyes, my daughter asked, "Is he even a Christian, Mom?"

I gently whispered, "Perhaps, sweetie."

She looked down and softly said, "But what they do doesn't seem like something God would choose."

If you claim faith, remember Proverbs 12:10:

"The righteous care for the needs of their animals,

but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel."

Kindness to animals is holy;

we must care for those who need us.

You cannot say you embody Christ without looking at the greater good of others before yourself.

As I stand in the quiet dawn of tomorrow,

The weight returns to choose once more who must leave.

My heart aches at the thought of what I must do.

Tell me, have you ever been torn between those you love?

If not, I wish you peace; you've never tasted this agony.

But if you have, you should know the weight I carry.

The sound of their absence echoes in my chest.

My daughter’s heart is broken, and so is mine.